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The Situation of Age Differences
Does it matter if you’re in love with someone considerably older or younger than you? In today’s day and age, we’re supposed to shrug our shoulders with an indifferent attitude. If someone raises their brows or comments, we’re supposed to hug our lover tighter and ignore the nay-sayers.
But, if one of us were to enter this type of relationship, most of us would probably find ourselves burdened by questioning the rightness of the involvement or yes, how others would view our pairing—as if other opinions should matter.
For one, there are certain expectations that seem to come up in age difference situations. Despite the gender, the older partner is expected to be the one with the experience, the knowledge, the control and the capability to be honest, trustworthy, dependant and sure of self. The older one is expected to guide the younger one, mold them if you will, into the consummate lover and mate.
Now is this always true? I have a new release with Totally Bound called Raspberries and Wine, in which the characters are caught in this age difference situation. As part of the Paramour Collection, the theme is an older woman-younger man involvement, where the man is the Dominant partner. Hmm…interesting. This was my first thought, at any rate, when the call came through.
In developing this story, I flipped ideas over and over in my mind. I knew what I wanted, but I wrestled with a flaw—the heroine, Stacy, is obviously uncomfortable with the age difference between her and Graham. She argues this point with both herself and Graham. This was hard for me to write at first because I told myself that readers would want a heroine who wouldn’t care that she was attracted to someone younger. That the heroine should flip off anyone raising their brows or commenting on their relationship. In the end, I listened more to my character and less to “what’s expected” and discovered that despite the way she should be, Stacy IS uncomfortable. She does have a hard time accepting that she wants a younger man—and even more, that he wants her.
Now, take not only her discomfort on a one-on-one scale, but Stacy also tells herself that she knows what the social expectations of their attraction means…it means she should be the one making the moves, initiating contact, and coming onto him. Being older, she’s the more experienced one, right? Or is she?
As I wrote Stacy, I grew more comfortable in her honesty in that she didn’t want to go against the norm.
Graham, on the other hand, is the charming twenty-something young man who wants to take her to dinner, is a man who is comfortable with the differences between them. He’s sure of himself and what he wants. He gets a sense of what’s bothering his new lover, and despite her arguments, he knows there’s a deeper reason for her hesitations.
Only Graham can prove her wrong, and he will stop at nothing to break down her walls so she can see the potential of a future for them.
Ah, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Following is a snippet from the story, one I hope you will enjoy as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Thank you, C.A. for having me stop by today.
It’s always a pleasure. And if anyone wants to chat me up, you can find me and all my haunts through my website, http://www.aylaruse.com.
Let's check out that book!
Raspberries and Wine
By Ayla Ruse
Publisher: Totally Bound
Contemporary Erotic Romance, light BDSM, Older Woman-Younger Man, Novella
It’s Valentine’s day and newly liberated divorcee Stacy Dalton has a plan: seduce her former classmate and end the post-divorce intimacy drought. She’s cooked a meal, she’s dressed to the nines, and she is crossing her fingers that tonight she will not go to bed alone. There is a slight hiccup in the plan when it’s not her former classmate that shows up with an easy smile and a hungry look--but his drop-dead gorgeous son.
Twenty-nine year old Graham Rosen has always been attracted to older women. So making last-minute plans to take out his father’s cancelled date seems an effortless and enjoyable task--especially when he sees the sable-haired beauty who opens the door. Unfortunately, Stacy seems hung up on their age. Even after giving in to Graham’s erotic attentions, the beautiful cook refuses to acknowledge any possible future to their relationship.